Check out my friend’s short film Lusus Naturae February 20, 2011
Posted by Elisha Haynes in Uncategorized.Tags: brent humes, LEO, lusus naturae
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My friend Brent Humes is a budding filmmaker who just completed a short entitled Lusus Naturae. He’s getting tons of hits on YouTube, but wants to get more exposure by advertising in the LEO (Louisville Eccentric Observer), which is a free weekly publication. If you want to help him, check out the website and consider donating to help fund his ad. Brent would surely appreciate it!
The Social Network MOVIELI REVIEW October 6, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: armie hammer, atticus ross, facebook, harvard, jesse eisenberg, josh pence, justin timberlake, mark zuckerberg, new york, the social network, trent reznor, winklevoss
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PG-13
A pseudo-biopic of the most socially transformative technological medium in history: Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) is ironically the guy who created something that brought us all closer together while doing the opposite for himself. Being the genius programmer that he was while attending Harvard University, he didn’t always play fair in developing his ideas. And once Facebook was up and growing like a hormone injected Godzilla, everyone wanted their piece.
Acting A
Everyone knows that most biographical movies are fictionalized to a large degree, but one can’t help but look at Jesse Eisenberg’s Mark Zuckerberg and think, “Man that guy’s a douche.” And only in those moments do you forget you’re watching an actor. Jesse shows within the first 5 minutes that an intellectual conversation with him requires more than just a brain, but a pause button. His sarcasm is as complicated as a comedian with Alzheimer’s; is he putting you down, or is he concerned? After a few seconds, it remains fuzzy. You can only wonder if the Winklevoss twins were really the epitome of every wealthy, attractive, Harvard rower that Armie Hammer and Josh Pence portrayed. Or maybe they honestly felt they were taken advantage of. And as for Justin Timberlake…
Writing B
…does he even need to sing? Playing a paranoid asshole seems to be working for him. Which brings me to this reality check. Like I said before, acting is meant to make you believe in something. In this case, how much can you believe? Mark Zuckerberg himself has said the majority of this movie is fabrication. However anyone can look up the facts and see that he did indeed pay the Winklevoss’ off with a hefty settlement. Or was that just a casualty of being rich and famous? Whether or not the entirety of this story is based in truth matters not. It entertains, and in the mind of the audience, it’s always fact.
Music B
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross paired a somber yet epic, classical score with the snowy landscape of wintertime in New York.
OVERALL B
Get Low MOVIELI REVIEW October 6, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: 1930's, bill murray, blues, funeral, get low, jazz, party, robert duvall, sissy spacek, tennessee
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PG-13
Felix Bush (Robert Duvall) is the Tennessee hermit that everyone has stories about. But there’s one story that he’s dying to tell, and before he does (die that is), he’s gonna make sure everyone knows the truth. To do that, Felix creates the event of the year by throwing his own funeral party. Frank Quinn (Bill Murray), who owns the local funeral home, can’t wait to help Felix with his proposal since he’s felt a slump in business.
Acting A
Putting Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, and Sissy Spacek within a one mile radius is enough to create an oscar nominated movie just by default. Duvall’s cantankerous old codger was not only brass, he held something deep inside him that you longed to learn about. Murray likes to keep a low profile in real life thus making a splash whenever he decides to show up on the silver screen. The alcoholic funeral manager that is as selfish as he is sarcastic could only be played by Bill Murray.
Writing C+
Generally speaking, as with any indie film, the mood is determined largely by the silence and transition in between scenes. Next time you watch one, take note. Either it builds up to something likely dramatic, or just commonplace. Unfortunately, there seems to be more dreariness than drama. Silence doesn’t always prove that there’s something deep inside. Sometimes it just means there’s nothing there.
Music B-
The popularity of jazz and blues in the 1930′s made a short and all too brief appearance in this period piece.
OVERALL C+
Devil MOVIELI REVIEW September 28, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: alfred hitchcock, chris messina, devil, drunk driving, elevator, hollywood trifecta, john erick dowdle, m. night shyamalan
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PG-13
It’s that timeless story when 5 strangers get caught in an elevator and they all start dying. You know the one. Recovering alcoholic Detective Bowden (Chris Messina) is sent to the case to discover which of the random people has decided to go on a killing spree. If it’s a person after all…
Acting B+
Surprisingly, all the actors were very believable; none were over the top. Something I’ve come to expect from Mr. Shyamalan is the forced dialogue he seems to shove through the mouths of the cast. However, M. Night has only commandeered two of the three main production positions. I like to call them the Hollywood Trifecta: Writer, Producer, Director. He decided (or maybe someone else did for once) that another noble soul should take the wheel on this one. And so Director John Erick Dowdle swooped in and saved this film from being a potential Shyamalan shipwreck.
Writing B
Shyamalan has a habit of doing something that few filmmakers like to do. He likes to instill some sort of heroism in the main character. You might say, “Of course the main character is typically the hero.” But in his movies, they are the blatant hero. They overcome some clear, personal obstacle that no one else would understand, and rise above it. And for the second time in one of his movies, he has shown one of these obstacles to be the effects of drunk driving. And if I needed to, I could probably do a bit of research and find out that this story is one from his own personal past. ”Write what you know” is one piece of advice he has stuck to. And it seems to do him well when he has a decent plot to go with it. The setting of a broken elevator filled with a claustrophobic, a racist old lady, a scumbag salesman, a gold-digger, and an ex-soldier is just what we need to keep us interested.
Music A
The opening sequence was one of the best I’ve seen in a while. An eerie, sharp, Hitchcockian score led us through a city of upside-down buildings and architecture while clouds set in, creating the mood for a gloomy, rainy afternoon that resided for the remainder of the film.
OVERALL B
Resident Evil: Afterlife MOVIELI REVIEW September 17, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: 3-D, afterlife, albert wesker, alice, apocalypse, matrix, milla jovovich, resident evil, shawn roberts, t-virus, umbrella corporation
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R
Still on her mission to destroy the Umbrella Corporation for creating the T-virus and letting millions of people die, Alice (Milla Jovovich) no longer has superhuman powers that she was given at the end of Apocalypse. While searching for Arcadia, the only known refuge for zombie survivors, Alice comes across a few that have also heard the radio signal advertising this safe haven.
Acting C-
Let’s face it, not every model turned actress makes that transition smoothly. Milla Jovovich is one those that should have stayed on the catwalk. She may have the beauty, and the moves, but she rarely delivers a line that is half believable. Not to mention Shawn Roberts, who plays Albert Wesker. His deliverance is so incredibly cartoonistic, you would think you were watching some Resident Evil anime.
Writing C+
Simplistic in nature, Afterlife knows it has nothing great to give, it just wants to mildly entertain you with stolen computer graphics from Matrix. The Executioner, an overly large man(?) who has an overly large ax/hammer, was the only thing that kept my interest and that lasted not nearly long enough. Very few scenes took full advantage of 3-D, with the exception of the airplane crash, where time stood still and you could virtually walk around the varying projectiles. Having played lots of Resident Evil games in my time, I noticed that you would appreciate many characters a little better if you were familiar with the franchise. Not necessary, but it adds something a little extra to look forward to in the movie.
Music B
The rock riffs add what Afterlife is mostly missing, depth. If only these could have bled into the plot.
OVERALL C
Machete MOVIELI REVIEW September 10, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: danny trejo, exploitation, grindhouse, immigrant, jessica alba, lindsay lohan, machete, michelle rodriguez, planet terror, robert de niro, robert rodriguez, violence
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R
In Mexico, Machete (Danny Trejo) is a federal agent who gets tangled up in a sting operation, only to have what he cares about most taken away from him. In Texas, he is an illegal immigrant who is trying to start the only life he can, away from the Mexican government. He gets hired by assassins to take out Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a candidate who has no empathy for illegal immigrants and is willing to do whatever means necessary to get rid of them. Machete gets caught up in the ugly side of politics when he himself is shot at by the very organization that hired him. He is able to recruit help from Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who heads up a network of people helping immigrants to find jobs, Sartana (Jessica Alba), an immigrations officer, and his very special weapon, his trusty machete.
Acting B
“Corny-ness” is something you expect from an exploitation film. Over the top dialogue, and cheesy lines are going to be abundant, but the key is to deliver them seriously, which adds that much more ridiculousness. Danny Trejo did a great job as the emotionless Machete who only wants revenge. Robert De Niro shows that running for public office does actually require some acting talent. He sounded like every other politician. The only person I felt stuck out like a sore thumb was Lindsay Lohan. And that’s probably what Robert Rodriguez was going for, considering the shining moment every straight guy was waiting for involved her taking clothes off.
Writing B+
True, this is much like any other revenge movie. But the difference is Robert Rodriguez gave it that grindhouse feel, which movie theaters have sorely been lacking since the ’70′s, or at least since he did Planet Terror, which was equally as good. Exploitation films set out to glorify violence, sex, stereotypes, women, etc. But only as much as it exists in the world. Yes, it is exaggerated a bit, but we understand this, because on some level, we participate in it. To me, these movies are a voice of the society we live in. They take hot button issues of the time, and blow them up. Immigration is an issue that is continually being fought over, and this film couldn’t have come out at a better time. Violence and gore are things that continue to fascinate, which is why Machete escapes from a hospital window holding on to someones intestines.
Music A
Perfect for a movie of this kind, the score is harsh and adrenaline inducing. It even slips in those special “bom-chick-a-bow-wow” for sex scenes. How perfectly stereotypical is that?
OVERALL A
The Last Exorcism MOVIELI REVIEW September 1, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: ashley bell, demon possession, latin, patrick fabian, satan, the last exorcism
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PG-13
Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian) is a charismatic evangelical preacher who was raised to be an inspiring leader from a very young age. Now though, he has a hard time believing himself. He’s known for his popular exorcisms, but decides to take one last case so he can blow the whistle on the smoke and mirrors of the trade. Reverend Cotton hires a film crew to document all the tricks he uses to sell his performance so he can help stop the accidental killings of “possessed” children. But Nell Sweetzer (Ashley Bell), the young girl he is meant to help, seems to be hiding something darker than her possession.
Acting B
Patrick Fabian did a great job as the conflicted preacher who doubts his own faith. In fact, he makes you wonder how many other religious leaders actually believe their biblical spouting. Ashley Bell can flip the switch from an innocent, home schooled 16-year-old virgin, to a murderous, vengeful demon, like someone with a personality disorder.
Writing C-
Most exorcism movies have avid believers scrambling to learn Latin in case they’re one of the unlucky possessed, but this one sets out to prove that even non believers have something to worry about. And it’s not just demons. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to convince me. While I give the writers props for coming up with an ending not befitting most of this genre, the sense of fear is what they were missing. Indeed, in parts there was genuinely frightful imagery, but the roots of the story grew not from reality, which you will discover in the last few minutes. You might be saying, “What’s real about exorcisms?” The truth is that most Christians do believe in demons. Most of us are taught from a young age that Satan is real and he has followers. So for most people the simple story of a demon possession turning a family inside out can be scary enough. The Last Exorcism puts a spin on that story that is just simply hard to swallow.
Music B-
Typical of most horror flicks, this soundtrack has plenty of sharp, sudden noises, but nothing out of the ordinary to REALLY make you jump.
OVERALL C
Piranha 3D MOVIELI REVIEW August 25, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: christopher lloyd, elisabeth shue, jaws, jerry o'connell, lake victoria, piranha 3d, richard dreyfuss, spring break
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R
Spring break has fallen upon the town of Lake Victoria, which brings with it stupid frat guys, drunken boating and the mogul of soft-core porn “Wild Wild Girls” videos, Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell). Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) discovers the half-eaten dead body of a local and ponders on closing the Lake during its busiest season. Once its discovered that deadly prehistoric piranhas are to blame, it’s all too late.
Acting D
What are you really expecting from a movie called Piranha 3D? Aside from Elisabeth Shue, there was no real effort put forth. And why should there be? With a quick cameo from Richard Dreyfuss who is seemingly reprising his role from Jaws, and the traditional wackiness from Christopher Lloyd as the eccentric aquatic expert(?), no other talent is needed.
Writing D
What are you really expecting from a movie called Piranha 3D? It might as well be called Boobies in Yo’ Face 3D. Or better yet, Every Straight Guy’s Dream 3D. The main focus of this movie was to provide as much gore and naked chicks as possible. I’m all for gore, especially when it involves a bare-boned Jerry O’Connell, but the rest of film consisted of any way possible to show a naked chick. At one point, the movie even blasts itself as being ridiculous when it follows an underwater scene with two completely naked girls frolicking, kissing, and humping each other to tranquil instrumental music befitting a ballet. And for this alone, I couldn’t give the script an F. When a movie knows it’s bad and is unapologetic, you have to give it a little credit. Unfortunately, equally as bad was the 3D. It was easily the worst use of 3D I’ve seen in a movie yet. Note to studios: If you can’t get the 3D right, take it out. Movie-goers are going to be very unhappy if they continue to pay extra for glasses and are consistently let down.
Music F
What goes better with body shots than hip-hop pop? Nothing.
OVERALL F+
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World MOVIELI REVIEW August 19, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: beck, broken social scene, jason schwartzman, mary elizabeth winstead, metric, michael cera, scott pilgrim vs. the world, sex bomb-omb, video game
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PG-13
Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) is a boyish 22-year-old who lives his life to the style of an NES video game. While trying to promote his band Sex Bomb-Omb he meets the girl of his dreams, hipster chick Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) who has had her share of romantic flings. In order to have a relatively successful relationship with her, Scott must plow through the competition of her seven evil exes. And since this does take place in the facade of a video game, everyone has superpowers including the main boss (Jason Schwartzman).
Acting B+
Though no ones going for an Oscar, everyone plays their role to a “T”. From moody, crazy, stalking ex-girlfriends to conceited, power obsessed former boyfriends and any gay roommates in between. Each and every ex stands out more than the previous. And of course Michael Cera delivers his usual clever, deadpan lines like no other.
Writing A-
With the exception of the fight scenes seeming a little monotonous, the story was exciting, sharp, and very fun. It’s based on a graphic novel and goes a mile a second rarely giving a moments rest, but is exactly what you’d expect from a boy fighting The League of Evil Exes.
Music B+
Although Scott Pilgrim claims to play for a shitty band, they’re actually not that bad and neither are the other few who get to showcase in the Battle of the Bands. Beck, Metric, and Broken Social Scene provide the indie sound for the film.
OVERALL B+
Winter’s Bone MOVIELI REVIEW August 19, 2010
Posted by Elisha Haynes in cinema.Tags: banjo, dale dickey, jennifer lawrence, john hawkes, missouri, poverty, rednecks, winter's bone
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R
Ree Dolly (Jennifer Lawrence) is a teenager in the Missouri mountains that has been forced to take care of her two younger siblings and sick mother. The mystery of where her father is and if he’s still alive is not an easy rock to lift. Teardrop (John Hawkes) is the volatile brother of the missing father who tries desperately to forget about him. While searching everywhere in this poverty-stricken community for any information on her father, Ree discovers that drugs have seemed to cast a spell on everyone. If she can’t find her father soon, her only safe place will end up property of the state.
Acting B-
Dale Dickey (Merab) outshines the leading lady, but isn’t too hard since no one seems to give a breakout performance.
Writing C
We all love surprises. Whether this story wanted to give us any is anyone’s guess. I would have settled for a startle, but instead just got a pat on the shoulder. More than anything I think this movie wanted to shroud itself in mystery and slowly unfold its macabre secret. Unfortunately there were none to be found.
Music D
The little music that was in the movie was provided by banjo playing rednecks who did a great job in setting the mood for the entire movie. I’m all for cultural awakenings, but the songs were just garbage.
OVERALL C-
